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Joined: April 29, 2002
Posts: 3195
Submissions: 93
Location: Albany, New York
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| Posted on Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:10 am |
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Both Legba and I have been communicating with the member, as well as posting this thread. I won't say I think this was the best way to hold the discussion, but given that we felt it reasonable to honor the request for anonymity, this was really the only way we could let the board communicate with the member.
I cannot say what their eventual decision will be, but they seem reasonable, and I suspect this thread will reassure, rather than drive them away. At any rate, I hope they will be comfortable bringing issues out in the open in the future, rather than requesting anonymity.
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
— George Bernard Shaw
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Joined: June 21, 2002
Posts: 1682
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Location: Idaho
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| Posted on Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:46 pm |
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| Quote: | | What I find frustrating however is that it seems that the biggest issue was Mical's comment on creationism, and yet another admin not involved with that comment was contacted and the "drama pot" was stirred, so to speak. Why not simply contact Mical through PM and bring your concern to his attention specificly? |
I find it interesting that something like this never happened. Not once had anyone ever contacted me to say, "Please stop...", nor can I recall any post in which someone singled me out.
Honestly, I didn't think I was being as offensive as I seem to have been, and I feel rather stupid about it now. Don't get me wrong, either. When I posted stuff like that, I was -trying- to be offensive, but I had no idea anyone ever took it to heart.
| Quote: | | but I sincerely doubt that Mical just pulled that out of thin air, and knowing him personally I can assure you he would never call anyone names. It seems to me that his comment was more social commentary on a growing trend and how he personally viewed it. |
I think that sums it up quite well. I never had any negative feelings specifically toward anyone I ever "lashed out" at, at least with regard to religion. I still disagree with a lot of my own friends' beliefs, but they're still my friends and I love them dearly.
I'm willing to make any changes necessary for the continued awesomeness of this community. The first thing I'll do is shut down what I'll call my 'opinion port' as it doesn't ever to seem to produce anything useful. I still feel that I have the right to express myself as I see fit, but perhaps I lack the privilege.
At any rate, now, more than ever since I'm an admin, I'll bite my tongue with vigor.
~Mical~  |
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Joined: August 10, 2005
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| Posted on Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:33 pm |
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Don't bite it too much!
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Joined: April 29, 2002
Posts: 3195
Submissions: 93
Location: Albany, New York
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| Posted on Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:31 pm |
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Well folks,
Lauria has left us. She sent me the final request, with this message:
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While talking to you and others, has been a pleasure the rise in such lines as "do you chose to be offended" in signatures has made me realise the the overall atmosphere has not changed.
No, nothing has been said to me directly, but I ask you this, would you feel comfortable in a room full of Holier then thou Christians who you know thought less of you because you do not believe?
That is the position that I am in now.
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I deleted her account this morning.
While I cannot say I am pleased by any member leaving us, I'm happy at least that this ridiculous episode is over with. I actually feel a little dirty for having pandered this much to any one user just to try to keep them around.
Given that this board is utterly non-religion oriented, and the supposed slights were few, far between, and barely recognizable as such, Lauria chose to be offended for reasons of her own, which I doubt had anything to really do with the comments in question. In fact, while I haven't actually gathered statistics, I'm pretty sure that at least half our BOD are active christians, they just haven't been the ones posting much the last few months...
We now return you to our regularly scheduled BEING BLOODY RATIONAL.
Lauria, if you are still out there and reading, you are welcome back any time. Let's hope you will be in a better space mentally and emotionally then, and can get past your religious oversensitivity!
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
— George Bernard Shaw
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Joined: August 10, 2005
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| Posted on Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:12 pm |
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Well that's shame and I'm sorry to see her go. However I don't think this could have been handled any better without too much censorship and upsetting other people.
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Joined: August 23, 2004
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| Posted on Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:56 pm |
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Wow, theres been a rise in people changing their sigs to "do you choose to be offended?"? That's sorta'...funny, since there's only one member I can think of who has that in their sig, and it's been there for a while.
While I'm sorry to see anyone leave, I'm not sorry to see this debacle over. I've never felt there was an anti christian or anti anything atmosphere here. If anything, I've always felt in the minority on the religious convos that pop up from time to time.
*shrug*
Getting on with our regular humdrum life here at M.A.I.L. now... |
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Cynake
 [ Ancient Forge ]
Joined: April 15, 2002
Posts: 1819
Submissions: 1
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada.
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| Posted on Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:13 pm |
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It's sad that someone left our community because we weren't Christian enough for her.
It's sad that she had a problem with peoples' (is it even more than one historic?) signatures indicating being offended is a choice.. though I am a bit amused she chose to be offended by that signiture  , oh the irony.
Anyway, I am glad that something utterly non-religious was the last straw, as it indicates she did not have, at the source of an issue, a problem with people bashing her religion (if that was ever the case), but really a problem with anyone holding any generic opinions contrary to hers. That shows her unable to deal with a world where one merely has to see two a variety of viewpoints and choose one.
I'm really not liking this anonymous complaining, as, had I known who it was, I could've examined their history. For all I know, many of the "anti-Christian" comments were provoked by pro-Christian opinion-sharing of her own (which of course, is fine, if in a chatty thread or topical.. but no surprise if contrary opinions also get shared). I somewhat doubt her lack of involvement in sharing her own opinion, her signature on TRL is a bible quote I see now.
I'm wondering if the source of this issue is actually my fault, and carried over from TRL. I've gotten into disagreements with that member before over there, and I've mentioned in those conversations that I was a BOD member over here (issues with copyrights and how we've handle them, and so on). Her utter irrationality and interpreting things the way she wishes they were true rather than what is true (and an inability to deal with or address that when it did happen), had me, oh, maybe a month ago say that after she disagreed again, that I accepted that as her opinion but wasn't even going to address the content of it unless someone else also thought it was true, after her systematic-wrongness (by people's opinions beyond my own) on the issue every single time it had come up in the past.
That said, I don't think she was ever offended by it, we never became cruel or flamey, just butted heads a few times. Now that I read her reasoning for leaving, maybe simple disagreement *was* enough to seriously upset her. I wonder if she came over here and looked up my posts for something to "prove" I was being offensive and then tried to stir the BOD against me. Backfired a bit I guess, if that's what happened. I dunno when she got here, but I'd almost swear that thread I posted in that she was offended by was dead and gone before she ever started mailling or registered here.
How many people here even know I'm an admin? It's not like it says it anywhere by your posts. You'd have to make efforts to memorize the list. I don't even know who all the BOD members are. Hrmph.
I also really do not like a member being able to delete their account. Perhaps from now on, members accounts can be locked or disabled, their articles/gallery items/weaves deleted... but not their forum posts.
She actually left me a PM a couple day ago that I briefly scanned and didn't have time to address. But now that her account's dead, it pulled that with it. Nothing critical, just some comment about my admin thread regarding the out-of-control Chat forum.
I feel a bit embarrassed having given this whole issue more credence than it deserved.
Ho hum carry on. |
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Joined: June 21, 2002
Posts: 1682
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Location: Idaho
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| Posted on Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:30 pm |
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Strange...she PMed me, we hashed some stuff, and she said that she planned to stick around for a while. I extended every nicety I could think of (even relating to her "position") to try and either keep her here, or make her exit a positive one, but I guess it didn't work. Oh well, I guess.
Let us all kneel down and pray to Chuck Norris and the Giant Spaghetti Monster that she discovers her peace and medication elsewhere. [/cynicism]
~Mical~ |
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Joined: August 23, 2004
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Joined: April 29, 2002
Posts: 3195
Submissions: 93
Location: Albany, New York
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| Posted on Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:45 am |
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The forum posts don't go away. They're still there for everyone to read. Only the account info and submissions get scragged...
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
— George Bernard Shaw
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| Posted on Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:01 am |
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| And the pm's apparently...I kind of wanted to keep what she sent me, if only for reference later if this (unlikely) ever came up again, but it's not likely we'll really be quick to forget any of this, so I guess that's maybe moot. |
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Joined: February 15, 2002
Posts: 877
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Location: Virginia Beach, VA
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| Posted on Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:36 pm |
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To stay on the positive side, I agree with Legba.
| Quote: | | Well that's shame and I'm sorry to see her go. However I don't think this could have been handled any better without too much censorship and upsetting other people. |
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.--Bertrand Russell
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